Rose Croft, Brentwood - Tuesday 25th July 1972

Dear Nostril Fly, Ta, for the fun packed lettre. Yes, my book! Nevermind, I'll remember next time. Luckily I awoke early at Dave's house, so I had time to creep off before the mad hoard of Segraves could descend upon me! Aargh! Did Sealegs wear his birthday vest? What a coincidence - it was Dinah's birthday on Sunday too! Did I tell you? poor thing was all alone when I got back to the Croft cos Lynne had gone to Windsor to visit Prince Charles and Bill, and Ed winkle had gone to Newcastle. Later on though Ed's friend ( who's going to share a studio, flat, coal cellar, dustbin etc. in London) Rick-in-the-Neck came on a hired motor tri-cycle which looked really funny with him on it, swaying and rattling down our drive. Linda came on Sunday to cause havoc in our kitchen, messing with my kidneys and sprinklin' marjoram on me meaty chunks. Needles to say, she ate us out of house and croft, and took all my valuables. I took her on a guided tour of the council tip but she still found her way back! We found some interesting things though - a mug for Ed with Eddie inscribed upon, a Radio Fun annual 1952, a book of Tony Hancock scripts, 3 war time razor blades, a tiny umbrella for a mouse, pretty patchwork pin cushion like a teapot cozy thing? lots of pencils, an applique wogglers badge, a small flower pot, a tin of safety pins and lots more. We would have found more but Linda, poor sensitive creature, could not stand the small! On the way back I kept a safe distance! LATER THAT EVENING. I've just been listening to a good programme about the seaside on the radio. This beachcomber was asked if it was profitable nowadays and he said " Yes, when everybody has gone home we find old money, rings, gold chains and old age pensioners!" I wonder how much he gets for them? In the caption on your letter some moron has wrote "Only here for the beer! Well, what do you expect for 3p. " What does mine say? I wish someone would put the finger on Bob Ryder! New Zealand eh? That's near Kangaroo Rolf Country isn't it? Don't they have lots of sheep and marys there? The geezers are supposed to be pretty hot! Nudge wudge! Wink dink! I wanted to see Chuck Berry too, but had enough of television for one day, it's so awful, how do they get awaty with such rubbish?! Mind what you say about oil refinerys! My dad works at Coryton and keeps it safe from arsonists and carelss drivers. Today whilst taking my midday stroll down the jungle to inspect the crops of giant hogweed I heard this strange slashing noise, so hacked my way to the end and lo and behold there was Lynne wacking the nettles, thrust and parrying with deadly skill, slice , slash! Aargh! One has got me , she cried , and jumped up and down in feverish frenzy! Dinah was in a ditch of deadly night shade carrying a rocking horse! A metal Mobo type on springs that bops rather than rocks , a -lop- bam - boom! Cursing myself for not bringing my camera, I left the demented pair and crawled back to the shack for a cold egg poltice. "New Worlds 2" eh? I must remember that! Where, what's Mamets? I thought it was a small rodent, or some kind of French yeast paste! Why don't you start your own publishing co. and so not need to write all those begging letters? I will send you my first novel as soon as it's finished. Lynne just got a good mag. through the post called "Country Bazaaar" or "Bizarre" which is very good, well the illustrations are anyway. I haven't had a chance to read it yet. Well, all for now, Sidney the Kidney. not quite - do you still want two clock faces? Dave didn't appear too keen to part with the money! Two faces would be £5, I can't really do them any cheaper I'm afraid. But that's dirt cheap you must agree, as it take me about a week to do one.