Rose Croft, Brentwood. - 29th June 1972

Dear Old Bean, What ho? Zadgooks! No more skool! Welcome to the big wide world also the big wide dole queue! Isn't life stra - a -ha -ha -ha -hange! What are all your bobby soxed chums doing? All going to University or becoming air hostesses, nurses, secret- terriers and wrestlers I expect. Get well soon, I hope the pneumonia isn't TOO serious. Did you get my wet card from Mankchester? I got back yesterday. It rained every day while everyone was basking in the heat wave down here, just my luck! I enjoyed seeing my old pals though and getting drunk every nite, on soapy nothern brew. We went to a funny "done up" pub which had a big plastic hay stack inside, also barn doors, five bar gates, pitch forks, stiles, piles and files and nasty plastic turnips and manglewurzels on the wall which lit up looking like blood clots and giblets! Uerk! I did a bit of grassy bank on Trevor's ( my old pal. I stayed and his and "worms" house ) muriel of trains thundering across the top of the bar in this working men's club ( British Rail geddit?) The grey pussycat from next door just wandered in to see me. She'd had her kittens now, but we don't know where. Pig Man Dave has probably drowned them all being a christian! I don't believe that about the president of Korea - he must have been double jointed! Barry and Eve are going to take me to see David Bowie at the RFH next weekend as a special birthday treat! Woopy! Bona- palona! I thought you was going on holiday with P and his brother, summat kinky like that? on a boat or summink? know what I mean? on a boating holiday, his brother and you, on a boat? On holiday? On a boat? Stiff upper leg old frueit! Nevermind, think of it as a blessing in disguise. How IS old fruity robot man? I thought he had emigrated - no such luck eh? I spent all my hard earned mooftah in Manchester and now I can't pay this month's rent! Woe is a me bop! Bill the stranglijg rent collector will have a fink pit! That cat just came in again and jumped on your letter, do you use fish ink? Well, there's no fish ink allowed you know! ho! ho! Rot a vunny jokey ! he! he! Bonus knockers, Perky Snoot.