T-shirt Violation Squad

Hazel has started a new rag rug for the back room as the other got pooed on my Flo the grumpy rabbit. Here she is slicing up an old and favourite T-shirt that I bought from Mark Pawson some years ago. It was a bit far gone I must admit. Its nice to see it will survive a bit longer in it's new guise.
Its been snowing in the night - just when we thought Spring was here, we are plunged back into Winter again! (see bottom photo early this morning ) Its all melted now except for the bits in shadow.
Got some new postcards from Boomerang which was a nice surprise as I thought they had been crossed off their books! A big parcel arrived and a neighbour took it in as I was too slow to answer the door. Good timing as I am very low on all the others and down to last couple of "Party Games" and "The Hypochondriacs" and maybe a couple of dozen of "Cinema" and " Marilyn Monroe". Funnily enough I have hundreds of "Arses Of England" left over!?

Hazel picked the winner of the Grand National yesterday but forgot to put bet on! Doh!

Crewe Market

Hazel and I went to Crewe this morning. Archie didn't want to go, so stayed in bed. He's been reading until 3 in the morning.
The flea market was pretty busy for a change - the warm weather had brought people out. Hazel found an old scrapbook from the 60's with postcards and other ephemera stuck in. Here is a matchbox label and a club card. There was also an envelope of old wedding invites and replies - some on official wedding stationary and others on scraps of paper.
Hazel also found some gadgets for her collection - a butter scraper and bottle opener from Germany in it's original box. Also a lovely enamel tin of icing equipment and nozzles with nice illustrations on the lid and sides. I expect these will turn up on A.1. Scrap Metal blog soon.
I didn't find much despite looking through hundreds of scratchy records. Most of them I have already! I found an old game and a DVD of "Kind Hearts & Coronets" and a dodgy looking one of the animation "Madagascar".
On the way home we stopped off at the Co-Op to get some things despite the tendency for mishap. The last time Hazel went the shutters crashed down and narrowly missed decapitating Audrey. She rushes through the door now just in case! If it's not the shutters its a robbery or the till playing up. Today the lady behind the counter got a button caught in the till which caused some merriment and consternation. Always something.

April Fools

A trip out to Chester today to celebrate the new month. Archie bought several packets of Pocky from the Japanese shop and ate most of them. I managed to get one which tasted a bit like a cork beer mat covered in creosote.
We blind folded Hazel and made her drive to the Park & Ride place and got the bus the rest of the way. It started to drizzle as we arrived which is pretty typical of our day trips to anywhere! Thankfully it stopped after a few minutes. Got some CD pockets (x45) from the Pound Shop. When I got them home I realised why they were so cheap - made of recycled crisp packets.
Hazel got two Sooty egg cups from the Oxfam. They seemed a bit battered and dear at a fiver each but she reckoned they were rare. I must admit I had seen any like them before. When an egg is inserted Sooty looks like a trappist monk!
Archie got a PC game called Monopoly. He's playing it now. It has a relentlessly cheerful cocktail jazz background theme that makes your brain go to mush after about 30 minutes.
We had a picnic by the River Dee in a howling gale and walked back along the Roman wall. Amused by centurions on the way as we peered down from the battlements, pretending to spear tiny children. They were all carrying small plastic sheilds but the javelin he was carrying was more thasn a match for them. They all seemed very keen to step up to the plate and get skewered. "Me! me! me!"

Went round most of the charity shops and the market much to Archie's annoyance. Hazel found the posh clothes shop she knew from Llandudno. She did not buy anything though despite money burning a hole in her pocket. All too summery and light apparently - she's waiting for a shipment of heavy cord yashmaks.
No buskers but a man was cheerfully strangling a pigeon in the town square and had gathered quite a crowd.
Got home in good time despite several miles of ornate bollards and chickenwire sculpture blown from the centre reservation onto the hard shoulder.

Walk To River Weaver

This morning would have been ideal for a boot sale or two but none around here as far as we knew so we stayed in and read the dreadful Sunday Mail which I only bought as it had a free DVD of "Time Bandits" by Terry Gilliam inside.
This afternoon we drove over to Carey Park for a walk to the River Weaver and wander through the silver birch woods. The factory on the other side of the river was particularly smelly today - an awful oxide sort of smell. It could have been poisonous for all we knew. We didn't stay long and walked back past the archery range and the delightful plastic bottle trail. Hazel had emptied all her crusts into the bushes ( for the mice and voles ) and collected up the discarded crisp packets, milk cartons and fag packets on the way back like a good citizen. I think she used to be a Girl Guide.
Archie managed to loose his expensive sun glasses during one particular dexterous plastic bottle grabbing manoeuvre. Maybe just after this tree hugging incident (above ).
So we spent ages re-tracing our steps and stoops to find them. Luckily no dogs ( of which there were many ) fouled them with a nasty surprise and Archie found them safe and well in the undergrowth, blinking in the sunlight.
This detour was most unexpected and quite fun as we were able to look at the photos I had taken on the way round to discover the exact point where the glasses vanished from Archies neck. Mind you, we only realised this after about 15 minutes of looking!

Tunnocks

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Another animation using the Crazy Talk software. The collage was made from an old Tunnocks biscuit box and a pop corn bag from the cinema.
Very wet today. We braved the showers to go into town and do some shopping. Archie had gone off to his friend Jacks. They went swimming. Nice to see him get out of the house at last.
Nice clip on TV just now of news reader on radio having a giggling fit when telling of story of French inventor who made sooty paper images of sounds over hundred years ago - ten years before Edison's historic recording of "Mary Had A Little Lamb". Some clever boffins had managed to extract the sound of a lady reading "Clair de Lune" using computers. It sounded just like a bee trapped in a bottle!

Candle Workshops

I was sorting through some cupboards yesterday, trying to find a box of old reel-to-reel tapes but instead I found this old book of collage - a diary I made from scraps I found on each days travels. That was the idea anyway but soon I began to use other finds from charity shops and flea markets to fit the theme of the day.
Today we drove over to the Candle Workshops near Beeston Castle to play on the slot machines and old automata. We've been before but Hazel's sister hadn't been so we took her for a treat. Had a nice fish and chip lunch out and tried to avoid the hoards of screaming kids doing workshops. The whole place has an overpowering smell of wax and perfumed candles. There are people dipping candles in big buckets of molten wax. Also people showing you how to carve candles into intriguing shapes. There are also workshops for card making and rubber stamps and all manner of crafty things.
We got lost a bit on the way there but managed to find it eventually down all those twisty narrow Cheshire lanes and we didn't loose any wing mirrors this time!

It wasa nice sunny day after the morning's rain showers so the countryside looked very clean and washed. Still lots of daffodils by the roadside and one big bunch with a sign that read DAFFODILS in scrawled pen incase we didn't know what they were!

Norton Priory

A trip out yesterday to Runcorn and Norton Priory which is a little oasis amongst all the industrial sites around the River Mersey. There's a little gallery too where Treena was showing some work situated at the far end of the walled garden. Above you can see Treena showing Hazel her coloured ice cubes which are melting slowly to stain the white canvas below. Treena was also showing some tiny hand made books made in a similar fashion- stained by ice cubes. We had a nice chat to Treena and then went around the priory to see the relics and the archeological site etc. There was also a large park and garden to explore which was dotted with sculpture and things dangling in trees. Not sure if they were sculpture or plastic bags blown there by the wind.

Managed to find out way home with the Tom Tom. We managed to drag Archie out but he was in a grumpy mood all day for some reason. Oh the embarrassment of ones parents! I suspect I felt the same way at his age.

Happy Easter!

My new filling is playing up. It seems to be slightly larger than the old one and needs to be filed down a bit.
Just back from a windy walk to town and back. leaning into the bitter wind on the way there and blown all the way back, my duffle coat hood acting like a sail!
I didnt get much except cold ears and a new ink cartridge. The lady in Age Concern recognised me from the local paper. Ah, fame at last. She quizzed me about sales of which there have been none. Nobody in Northwich has any money , especially for art I said. She seemed to agree and said she had a friend in France who had a lot of trouble with copyright and now he just paints for pleasure. What other reason would you have?
Archie and Hazel have been making Easter cakes ( see photos ). The Gingerbread house is a flat-pack design from Germany I think. We got it for Xmas but it was never used. Now it has a family of chicks moved in. The other fruit cake was also from Xmas and matured nicely in it's tin. Hazel added the marzipan and Archie added the icing and chocolate eggs.


The tricky use of the icing bag.

Fun Loving Artist

Fame at last! Here's a clipping from this weeks Northwich Guardian featuring that well known fun loving artist who likes to take his work to the library. Amused that they've put me on a page with all the other miscrients! On the opposite page is another old codger leaning at a similar angle and smiling back at me. You wonder if they do it on purpose or if it just ends up like that?

I braved the drizzle to go down town to pick up my prescription and face the mobs of autograph hunters. I bumped into Treena in Scope shop for a quick chat. She says she's got a performance with ice cubes on at Norton Priory this Sunday- we might pop along. Went round all the others but didnt find any bargains. Bought some fish for a fish pie. Went in library to take DVD back and checked that no pins had fallen out. Pushed my way through hoards of art lovers that surrounded my work. Not really.

Archie has the day off as he's got a nasty cold. Hazel isnt feeling too good either so this will be a fun Easter! Going to make a nice lunch now to try and cheer them up a bit.

Pat-A-Cake, Pat-A-Cake.

Just found a packet of Dennis The Menace cake mix in the pantry that has a sell by date of Feb. 2004 on it! I was going to use the cake pictures on the box for a collage but found some in the end in some old copies of The Countryman magazine.
The result is to the left - for the latest theme at Scrapiteria. I don't know where everyone has gone as I seem to be the only person posting collages at the moment? Maybe the theme of St. Patrick's Day or Pat or Patty was too difficult or maybe theyve all gone off on a St. Patrick's Day bender and havent recovered from their hangovers yet. Ours was non-eventful. I didnt even get a pint of Guinness.
Went into town the other day with Hazel. Got some more CD sleeves. Still decanting into smaller boxes. We took bagfuls to the tip. Over 500. It seems a waste but nobody seems to want them and no recycling bin for hard plastics. The tip has changed and even more confusing for drivers now who can't back up to a skip anymore but have to wait in a long line and walk miles to metal, paper, card, clothes, shoes, etc. which are never in the right place so you have to dodge in between the traffic to find them. No wonder people just fly tip.
I have to go and have two fillings re-done this morning so not looking forward to that. Going to the dentist is traumatic at the best of times! Not to mention the exorbitant cost.

Happy Boot Day

Nice restful weekend of boot sales and walks. This morning we went to a boot sale at the local fitness centre car park. A dozen or so stalls braved the elements and biting winds. I got a couple of CD's for Archie as had stayed in bed. A note pinned to his door said "Don't wake me up. Buy me something." So we did. he got more stuff than us in the end. Hazel bought a graphic novel of The Hobbit. Later I found him a Topper annual from 1973 but he already has it.
Next we drove over the Weaverham to a sale at the High School. I got two scratchy records- one of weird childrens songs and stories called Happy Monster and the other is Sandy Nelson's Greatest Hits.
Hazel found some plate hangers on their original cards. Also a big tray of bright and colourful plants to give to Granma for Easter.

This afternoon we had a walk round Shakerley to feed the ducks with our stale bread. They didn't seem that bothered so most of it just floated off or sank to the bottom of the mere.
Hazel just called out that John Hegley is on Radio 4- a half hour of delicious poetry and song from art galleries. I expect you can hear it via the internet's "Listen Again" feature. Some new songs I hadn't heard before- a great one about Pablo & George.

Wittgenstein

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Hazel is off to fly kites with some students today in Glossop in the Peak District. Apparently thats where Wittengenstein used to go to fly kites when he was a student? at Manchester University unless I've got it completely wrong! Anyway, this inspired the above after reading about the weird things left on his grave in Cambridge.

Four Boots

Four boots this Sunday much to our delight. The first was in Hartford and it turned out to be the largest and busiest as expected. I didn't find anything though and I don 't think Hazel found much. A bit too crowded and jostling for our liking. It was hard to get near some stalls. Afterwards we picked up Archie's chum Jack from Weaverham who was coming over for the day. Came back via the boot at Anderton which was mostly indoors. Nothing of interest here either despite the boxes of old records I sorted through. Hazel bought some pansies to put in the garden. Then to the boot sale at Witton which was a measly half dozen stalls. Picked up DVD's of "How To Get Ahead In Advertising" ( about a talking boil on the neck of Richard E. Grant ) and Clockwise with John Cleese for 20p. The last boot sale was even more pathetic with only two stalls inside the community centre at Lostock but I did find a hard back copy of "The Melancholy Death Of Oyster Boy" by Tim Burton for 50p.
So you see- size doesn't matter, even the smallest boots have big bargains.

Yesterday I had to go and have my haircut and then have my photo taken in the library by a tiny lady from the Northwich Guardian. Both were relatively painless though the hairdresser did try and engage me in a conversation about the weather. The photo should be in this weeks edition so that will be interesting to see. I did the interview over the phone so I expect a few inaccuracies.

Art

American version of Creature Comforts by the brilliant Aardman team.

Library Photos

The historic Brunner Library and Salt Museum where my exhibition is in Northwich. The Salt Museum bit has since moved to an old workhouse two miles away by the River Weaver.

Posing with the art. Quite hard to get back for an overall view as there are things like a security gate and bannisters in the way but Hazel did a good job taking these pictures

Library Exhibition

Put up the exhibition of twenty small collages in the Northwich library foyer yesterday with Hazel's help. Some of the work in this slide show above. I will try and take a photo of the exhibition today sometime. Pleased the way it looked considering the size and peculier aspect of the space. My thumb aches now from pushing in all those pins holding the descriptions of the work.
Afterwards we did some shopping. Hazel found some interesting knitting paraphenalia in nthe nearby Age Concern shop- needle gauges, needles and patterns etc. Also a hexagonal glass candlestick that reflects the light like a prism. Her grandad used to have one similar apparently.

Spotty Vs. Snotty

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Both Archie and I are at home today with nasty colds. sniff sniff. I went out for a walk into town to get some bread and a screwdriver. All our screwdrivers are either blunt or gone missing. Cheap and nasty ones made in China usually. You can't buy decent tools anymore.
sniffle. Its cold out but sunny. I also bought some CD sleeves. I'm in the process of decanting all my CD's into thin plastic see-through sleeves- this will help with space. Coincidentally interesting programme about Stephen Hawking and black holes and beginning of the universe etc. on last night. I didn't understand a word of it!
You can probably be baffled again if you missed it - see BBC's iPlayer or maybe it was C4 , in which case the 4OD site is what you want. Lots of good stuff in the archives there including the Adam&Joe show from the 90's and complete series of Father Ted, Black Books, Comic Strip etc. etc.

Holy Grail Of Rhubarb

Quite a busy weekend what with one thing and another.
Last night we went to see a travelling theatre group as part of the Cheshire whatsits village touring thingy. It was at Plumley Village hall where we saw the amazing Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain a couple of years ago before they hit the big time. The hall was packed again and we had to sit around tables which makes the back ache a bit after two hours. The seats are'nt meant to be sat in for longer than two minutes really!
Anyway it wasa darkly comic "clown noir" about some postmen who stumble upon some murderous goings-on. Some very loud bangs from starting pistols made me jump out of my skin despite the warning notices!
Today was Mothering Sunday and so I popped down to the Co-Op to get some flowers and the papers ( free Scrabble CD-ROM) but it was closed due to its first break-in. You could see it coming a mile off really as its isolated and just a muddy track and timber yard round the back.
I got the papers and bunch of daffs further on up the road. Hazel's Mom and sister came for a fish and chip lunch and Archie entertained them with his guitar twanging and flights of remote controlled helicopter. Granma had a go and nearly drilled a hole in the ceiling. She also managed to cut some paper using my 5 bladed scissors ( for cutting up receipts and bills ) and get a sliver of white paper stuck to the inside of her spectacles.

Next Day.
Awoken with a nasty cold so had to postpone dental appointment. I am due to have two fillings re-done so quite relieved in a way but I'll have to find some courage at a later date. I hate having my teeth drilled. I expect most people do!
A quiet day of sniffing and sneezing ahead.

Art Gallery Tips

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Here's another silly animation using the Crazy Talk software I bought the other day. I'm just using the pre-programmed faces but you can put your own images on to animate it says but I haven't figured out to do it yet. I'll have to watch the tutorials again .

This morning we went out to get some shopping for the weekend. Hazel has a nasty cold so we dint stay out long. She's gone back to bed now. I got some pins and screws to hang my collages up in the local library next week - fame at last!
Also cheap DVD's and Cd's- the sort they give away in Sunday papers. Among them were Baghdad Cafe, Battleship Potemkin and 5 tracks by The Strokes. Also was given a big book of Horror Films in the Salvation Army Shop as they said it was too horrible to sell! It has a nice photo of James Whale's Frankenstein's monster on the cover. There are some gruesome photos inside but you see far worse in the tabloids these days.

It's pouring with rain now so glad to be home.

Things That Go Bump In The Night

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Woken at 1a.m. by strange and disturbing vibration of corner of bedroom. We thought it was a poltergeist or alien articulated lorry landing outside. Hazel looked out the window but could see nothing. We lay in bed wondering what it was for ages before dropping off again. This morning discovered it was a rare, 5'3 on Ricteur Scale, "earthquake" - the biggest for 25 years. The epicentre was miles away in the Fens. Nice to know we didn't imagine it all!

Went to town today for a nice walk. Quite warm - hot in duffle coat. I found an amusing bit of software to play with called Crazy Talk in a charity shop for a couple of quid. I made the above animated cat reading one of my cut-up poems with it. Chortle!

Archie had a go when he got home and I almost had to drag him off the PC he was enjoying it so much.
Popped in Co-Op for bread on way home. Its getting more popular- I had to wait in a queue of three!

Barb & Des Visit

A week seems to have flown by without much bloggage. You havent missed much although we did have a nice visit from my sister Barb and her other half , Des. Who are still here in fact and will be going back via Nottingham today to drop in on Des' Mum.
The above was taken outside the candle shop at the Craft Centre who's name escapes me for the moment. This is as exciting as it gets! Hazel managed to find some cheap automatic candle snuffers to put on her blog. We tried them out last night and they work too. A pound for set of four.
We also went into the crafty shops and the sweetie shop and Archie bought some Green & Blacks.
The day before we showed them the delights of the new Co-op and a walk round Shakerley Mere to feed the ubiquitous ducks. We had a nice take-away curry ( I cooked the rice and nibbles ) and we watched a bit of a dull film about wine tasting in California "Hilarious" and " Extremely funny" say the blurbs on the video cover, but they must have been watching a different film!
Bumper crop of free DVD's in sunday papiers this week including "My Left Foot" with Daniel Day-Lewis who coincidentally won the best actor at the Oscars last night. Also Fellini's "La Dolce Vita".
Nice to see so many Brits get oscars including short animation and costumes and special effects etc.
Below is a corner of the "Garden Gnome" compound at the Craft Centre at Blakemere. Nice to see Andy Capp make an appearance after many years in the doldrums.

First Boot Sale Of Year

Brrrrr! Its cold- too cold really for standing around at boot sales but amazingly quite a few brave souls at the Witton Albion FC boot yesterday. Hazel bought this great brass whistle complete with wooden pea for 50pence. The green mould was free! I didn't find much, loathe to get my hands out of my warm pockets! In the end I came away with the second series of The Peep Show on DVD for 20p. Archie bought a quoit/frisbee thing for dogs to catch? Maybe he is training Wilf to fetch things.
Later we went for a walk around Shakerly as it was very sunny and had warmed up a tiny bit. Watched the ducks slide across the frozen sections of lake trying to avoid the flying crusts that Archie was flinging. BRRRrrrr!

Antiques Fair

Archie has been burning the midnight oil and made this silly video last night. Too many late nights taking their toll!
Just back from an antique fair at the crafts centre in Blakemere.. Not many stalls really but enough to make the pound entrance fee worthwhile. Hazel bought some old ciggy cards of the wartime home guard and home defences etc. also some old battered Beanos from the 60's for Archie. H'es still sleeping ofcourse after his late night of creativity.

Later. They've gone out to get some groceries. Archie got up at 2:30pm and had some soup. I made a big pan of leek,carrot and potato. We had awarm pretzels with it and cheese. Yum!
Watched some of the FA cup on the telly. Good to see Bristol Rovers get into the quater finals. Its Man. U. and Arsenal on later.

International Yo-Yo Day

I hope you all have your yo-yo's ready? I've got mine. Hazel gave me this one for Valentine's Day - also a collection of Snap card games and some useful CD sleeves. I gave her a collage and some chocs.
Just back from a walk into town. Got a nice book about snowballs by Andy Goldsworthy in the library sale for 75p. What a great idea- rolling snowballs down mountains into the town and leaving them in sunny snowless streets to melt. Some were stored in deep freezes in winter and bought out again in summer to confuse people. Thats soemthing we didnt see much of in Norway thinking back on it- no big snowballs or snowmen? Maybe they have so much snow they got bored with all that business a long time ago!

Oh Mr. Porter!

"I got a train to Birmingham.
But they dropped me off at Crewe"

Something like that. I forget the exact words of that old song. A great film by Will Hay too. Not sure what came first - the film or the song?
Anyway, a nice sunny ride with Hazel, Archie and Audrey to nowhere town. It used to be somewhere back then- a big railway town and it still is in some respects though the railway is less important now. The flea market is the main draw for me personally and today it was buzzing- crowded with punters, shunters and old junk.
Hazel found lots of weird metal stuff for her blog including some "pudding charms" on their original card. I doubt whether Health & Safety would allow such a thing these days- spoiling our fun, choking on tiny bits of sterling silver- how dare they! Also in her gander bag were some knitting implements, stitch holders, pins of various sorts and weird nickel silver container with hinged lid that looked like it once contained a miniature bollard.
My finds were less esoteric - DVD's of latest King Kong and extra disc of stuff, Wizard of Oz with extras and jerry Lee Lewis in concert in the 80's when he was still "The Killer" with all kinds of guests- Van Morrison, Dave Edmunds, Brian May etc. Also some books including american photographs of the every day, and one about books with strange titles , "Kipper Racing For Fun & Profit" was not one of them.
Archie moaned continually as all teenagers are wont to do. "I feel so depressed", "I hate this town" "Why did I come?" etc. for two solid hours. We will leave him behind next time!
Not sure what Audrey bought but she had bags of the stuff and was sweating profusely when we caught up with her outside the Oxfam shop.
Hazel beeped quite few cars and lorries and white vans on the way home as they were determined to cut her up. They obviously see her car as something very slow and unthreatening.
Home now and a quick lunch of pancakes, egg and beans. They have been out in the garden as it's so springlike. Archie has been weeding and sweeping path and Hazel burned all the accumulated card in her mexican stove.

Book Sale

Walked into town this morning despite the frozen pavements. It wasn't as bad as it felt - not as slippy as last week. The library book sale was still on so I got a few things including some world music from Kenya and Spain on CD and a DVD of a strange film called Milwaukee Minnesota and described as "hilariously funny" on the cover- we shall see. Bruce Dern is in it but not heard of the other actors. It also has some extras including a directors commentary with Alan Mindel and "Catching Fish" game that sounds intriguing!

Not much else in the way of bargains. Nice sunny day- it soon warmed up and felt rather overdressed in my duffle coat and snow boots.

Archie eventually got up in the afternoon. He's becoming a bit of a night owl since half term hols. started. He's been making flash turorials for You Tube.

Better make some gravy as Hazel will be home soon and the sausage rolls and whats left of the nut roast need a bit of liquid.

Leek Man Strikes Again!

Look at that silly hat. Even the Norwegians thought it funny and they wear some odd headgear. On holiday it's fine but never in England! Unless it really gets cold but it seems to be warming up. Another lovely bright sunny day today. Ideal boot sale weather, unfortunately there wasn't any around here. The first of the year is next week when I expect it will be p***ing down!
Hazel de-frosted the fridge and freezer today and a chunk of ice that could sink the Titantic dropped out of it and had to be manuoevered into the garden with a fork lift truck. No, not really - a slight exaggeration. But a thrid of the fridge WAS ice so we had loads more space afterwards and so Hazel had to go out to Aldi and get some more stuff to fill it up. Even Archie was lured out of his bedroom and away from Rune Scape to sweep the garden path and go into town for some new slippers.
I stayed in to add some Highlife from Ghana to the blog and watch part of the African Cup of Nations( which Egypt won ). I also made a nut roast for dinner using the weird rubber "tin" I got for Xmas.

Ooh Me Eye!

Very amusing animation just found on a blog. Not sure who made it but will infestigate further.

It's from a blog called Wonderhorse.

Barry Wenden Visit

Delighted to find an e-mail from old art school chum Barry waiting for me yesterday morning saying he might pop over as he was nearby in Stockport at a meeting. So busied myself cleaning up and tidying a bit ( not that he'd notice ) incase he did show up. Eventually he did after a few TOm TOM diversions. It was like terrible sit-com , trying to give directions over the phone and Barry nowhere near where I thought he was! Anyway, eventually he got here and we had a nice chat as I cooked the dinner ( spinach and egg bake ) and caught up with the last 12 years or whatever it's been. Barry said he met Archie when he was a baby so that goes back a bit. Barry is still the same and he said I hadn't changed much either which was nice of him - a bit more snow on the roof but a boiler full of clinker. He told us some amusing stories about his travels in France and Clochemerle and the village life where he is head of the committee which brought The Vicar Of Dibley to mind.

Thankfully Hazel arrived home early and so was able to distract Barry while I finished off the vegetables and lay the table etc. Archie showed him his latest animations and we talked about the pro's and cons of the digital age.
It was very easy to get drawn into misty eyed reminiscences of our student days in Manchester and Archie must have been thinking " what a couple of boring old codgers!"

Around 7 he had to head back to Northampton - a good 2 and half hour drive he said. We promised to visit in the Summer but can't see Hazel driving that far!

Marbury Walk

Went for a nice walk in Marbury yesterday afternoon despite the biting arctic wind. The usual duck feeding frenzy with the remains of a stale loaf. Mad dogs and englishmen and women with sticks in their mouths diving in the icy lake.
The bird hide was very busy with tits, finches, blackbirds, a woodpecker, two sqirrels and a rabbit. We expected them to break into a Disney song and dance routine for our benefit but they didn't. A cheeky robin came up very near and I was able to take a few close-ups of him.
Then to the pet shop to buy a log stuffed with goodies for Wilfred. Hazel went in the "interiors" shop next door to buy some candles and laugh at the weird ornaments that they expect you to buy - garden gnome lamps, Liberace's candle-bras and other hideous kitcshy stuff.

On Saturday we went to the cinema in Knutsford to see "I Am Legend" which Archie wanted to see on the recommendation of a school chum. It was two hours of sheer torture- don't go even if you are a big Will Smith fan, it's awful!

Hazel went out this morning to clear the car windows of frost and mistakenly sprayed herself in the face with noxious de-icer - she said it made her smell of cat wee.

National Potato Day

I think Monday is National Potato Day so in celebration of this wonderful versatile vegetable I have chosen this collage "Couch Potato" as the start of todays bloggage. I do hope you will all tell me about your potato adventures . I plan to roast a few tonight and tomorrow maybe some mash with lots of butter. Yum!
Hazel has dusted off the folding potato stand from the shed in readiness. Oh no- it's the stand for Archie's keyboard. His piano teacher Bruce has told him that having the keyboard on the floor isn't really conducive to practicing ones scales and chords etc.

It's pretty icy this morning and the pavements are tracherous- reminding me of the slippy walks in Norway recently. The overnight snow has melted and re-frozen which makes things worse. Even so, I slipped along to the newsagents to get the Guardian which has a free DVD of Eisenstein's "Battleship Potatokin" inside! This ofcourse is the Russian classic film made in 1925 about a riot by sailors when their potato ration was cut. It includes the famour scene on the Odessa steps when the helpless citizens are shot with spud guns by the Tsarist police.

Comics

I used to make comics back in the 80's and 90's, mostly for mail art 'zines or projects. Seeing Joe's nice cartoon/drawings at webcomics.com ( see previous posted comments ) I tried to upload some of mine too but the computer kept crashing so I have given up and will add some to my blogs instead.

Norway Film

Hazel took all these film snippets and Ive just cobbled them together and added a soundtrack as the original seems to vanish for some reason I can't quite fathom!
In it you see a clip of the train journey ( not steam ) to Lillehammer passed the frozen Lake Mjosa then a candlelit Esther's house which isn't that gloomy and lots of laughing and giggling- more trains and then a mistake as Hazel attemts to snap Esther's lovely pizza she made on our arrival.

We can't quite imagine that we went now a week or so later - seems a bit like a dream. Back to reality. Hazel has been washing and ironing like mad to catch up with the back-log from our week away. Archie is back on Rune Scape. I have been catching up with a few blogs but not this one. Some new pages on Boot Sale Sounds. Have been to town a couple of times to check out the charity shops and market but no bargains to be found though everything seems so much cheaper after Norway.
Found a DVD about Hannah Hawkswell and her lonely life up in the Yorkshire Dales running a sheep farm on her own back in the 70's.She became quite a celebrity and her fortunes changed after that programme and she wrote book of her life and went to New York etc. Nice story.

It's been quite mild here - sort of grey and overcast today. Might go and feed the ducks as Archie has bought a whole white loaf from Aldi to fling at them.

Kunstbanken

Hazel Jones posing at the entrance to her exhibition at the Kustbanken gallery in Hamar, Norway. She only expected a small room and found she had three small rooms to fill and eventually by some clever arrangement and deviousness got a further room with a TV to play her DVD she had taken along! Not bad considering the work just took up part of a suitcase ( the 17 photos were sent ahead by air ).

Here's Hazel with a selection of her "found objects" used for inspiration - the icing nozzles, the string cutter, the padlocks and keys, the pipe cleaners etc. mostly all found in charity shops and flea markets and some sent by kind friends overseas.

Archie demonstrating a tin foil compactor I think?
Or it could be a pea polisher!Hazel with the box of "string too small for use" that was the main inspiration for latest sets of gadgets and metal objects for holding, storing, winding string. They all sounded very exotic translated into Norwegian for the leaflet and amused the gallery staff no end as they tried to figure out what words would be appropriate!

Norway

Just back from a nice week in Norway, helping Hazel put up her exhibition in the Kunstbanken Gallery in Hamar. We stayed with our good friends Esther and family nearby. It took longer to put up the exhibition than Hazel first thought but despite the setbacks were able to enjoy some days out in the beautiful Norwegian countryside. We had previously only experianced Norway's natural wonders in the summer and this was out first visit in the depths of Winter. Around Xmas it was apparently 15 below zero so we had taken many layers and stocked up with thermal underwear and appropriate gloves, scarves and other woolies but it turned out to be one of the mildest January's ever and raining! The rain froze so the pavements were quite trecherous! It's a wonder any of us didn't fall over during our stay but managed a few nifty dance steps!

Above is Hazel on one of our "days off" at the end of our stay up in the hills around Hamar where it was snowier and more like what we imagined it would all look like. We spent a lovely day sledging and careering down hills on various toboggony craft. Below Archie is building a snowball from part of a glacier!
Two days before we went to Lillehammer by train which was similar and very cold but crunchy underfoot. Went to the Art Gallery or Kultur Haus or whatever it was called but they were changing exhibitions so we got in free so see some amateurish daubs from the permenant collection. Hazel bought a nice folk art looking tapestry from the only charity shop in the area for her Mom. I looked through some old Norwegian records and tapes but none caught my eye and they were rather expensive.
Hazel also found some metal gadgets for her blog - some old xmas tree candle holders.

The exhibition looked great and Hazel was surprised to find she had four rooms to fill and not the one she expected! Somehow with devilish cunning and inter-active enginuity she managed to fill the space very well. Some more about that tomorrow. I have earache due to cabin pressure so better add more when I feel less jet- lagged and deaf!

The Dancing Pea

A new animation by Archie hot off the press.

Limbo

The last few days have been a bit of a blurr. I can't remmeber much about them except that the weather has been very dull and grey, drizzly and depressing. Archie went off to Durham on a school trip overnight and stayed in a creaky house just after going on a "ghost tour" of the old town in a hailstorm. Trying to illicit anmore information is like trying to get blood out of a stone. One is confronted by Kevin the teenager. Due mainly to tiredness- staying up til 4 in the morning talking.
Hazel is back at college and all the drama and stress that involves. The stories she tells make your ears curl and I couldn't possibly tell them here which is a shame as they would liven up this dull blog quite well!

Went into town yesterday and tried to exchange Hazel's new ipod for another as this one seems to freeze up every five minutes. The Mr. Bean type character in Currys said it was easy to fix - juts go to the Apple website and download the relevant software - he made it seem so easy and we were idiots to be bothering him with this small matter.

Found some old silent movies on DVD and video in a charity shop. "Birth Of A Nation" by D.W. Griffiths and two features by Harold Lloyd "The Freshman" and "Safety Last".

Ukulele Orch. OF Great Britain - Wuthering Heights

Fun & Games

The Timberwise chaps came today to rip out our mouldy skirting boards and squirt some gunk behind them and drill a few holes etc. which disrupted our quiet morning somewhat. Everything is covered in a fine layer of dust now and it took ages to put the book shelves back and try and remember where everything was. Typically ended up with a few books left over and no spaces! Now Archie is tidying his room and sorting out stuff for the charity shop to make way for all the xmas stuff.
crash bang!
There is a smell of plastic filler and sawn wood in the air. Hopefully now the damp will be banished from the corner behind the TV.. I painted the wall again to cover the mouldy mildew stains. Nice.
Above is a collage I made for a theme of "games" at Scrapiteria but too late I am. New theme of "Goddess" already stated it is. I seem to be turning into a Star Warts character I am.
Feel a bit in limbo in this period after New Years and before all the decorations and lights come down this weekend. Looking forward to everything being normal again.

First Day Of New Year

Woken without a headache after several glasses of rum and coke which is amazing. All I remember from last night is the drizzle and looking out the front door to see copious explosions and rockets at midnight and Hazel in a conga line going down the street with some drunken neighbours. I quickly retreated to the safety of the living room and the last of Jools Hollands Hootenanny. Seasick Steve being the stand-out this year.

Hazel has gone into her workshop today to finish off a few things. Archie slept until the afternoon and is watching some animation. Uploaded some new tracks to Boot Sale Sounds using my new toy.

Looking back in rhyme to 2007 with the aid of my diary I see that-

January started similarly with rain.
Now the months come round again.
My resolution for a collage a day
Started well but faded away.
It was the Regal's last show
Our cinema closing was quite a blow
Extras at end of month for zombie flick
In the old Regal before it got sick.

February started badly
No Regal auction lots sadly.
Nasty flu' attack which lays me low
Hazel off to Berlin she goes
Now really feeling rough
Not sleeping well enough
Up and down like a yo-yo
Crying and then a big ho-ho!

March is very much the same
Someone has re-wired my brain!
Thankfully help is nearly here
Sleeping pills take away the fear
Writing lost and lots of lists
Nearly sent me round the twist
I tell the ducks on Shackerly Mere
The fisrt boot of the Spring is here!

O dear! I can't keep this up for much longer! I think I'll stop while I'm ahead. Other highlights included getting book printed at LULU which was a tortuous affair I'll not repeat in a hurry! Archie started piano lessons at Bruces down the road. I tried to learn but realised I was incapable of playing any kind of musical instrument- even the ukulele ties my fingers in knots! Going to see the film "Dead City" in Knutsford was good too- mainly because we were in it but if you blinked you missed us!

It's been quite an eventful year thinking about it but traumatic at times. Hoping for a less stressful 2008 for all of us!

Goodbye 2007

Won't be sorry to see the back of 2007 as it was pretty ropey , especially in March when I was ill for a while. Some highlights though were our 10 days in Llandudno and seeing Ken Dodd, seeing all the family in the summer in Basildon and at my neice's wedding and seeing Archie's latest animation at the Cornerhouse on the big screen. I'm sure there were other things too. Oh yes, and meeting up with my old chum Trevor in Stafford after a gap of eight years and visiting our old friends Roger and Jilly in Sussex before they moved to London.


This week we have been to the sales but didnt find many bargains. Northwich isn't renowned for its shopping experiance!
Archie has gone over to his old friend Jacks today to clump about his allotment in big muddy boots. Hazel has been in a cleaning and tidying frenzy as we have visitors tomorrow - some friends of hers from Walsall and Cardiff coming down for the day for dinner and a chin wag.

I have been playing with my new toy - a USB turntable which sits ontop of the PC and you can turn your vinyl into MP3's and put therm on your blog - or MY blog. It's great and a lot easier than the CD recorder used to be though can't hide away in my room like I used to.

Good Elf To You All!

Merry Crumble and Good Elf to all my readers! All three of you! I should have a photo here but I'm busy stuffing the nut roast and boiling some sprouts to a mushy pulp.
Maybe add one later.

Tony and Penny gave Granma some novelty crackers to pull today. They had numbered whistles inside and here we are trying to play "Jingle Bells".

Slippy Ducks

Zombie Crimbo!

Had a fun evening last night at the premiere of the zombie film, "Dead City",we were in as extras last year at a small bijou cinema near us in Knutsford. We parked next to a graveyard too which seemed appropriate! We thought of dressing up for the occasion in some zombie make-up but luckliy we didn't as nobody else had come as a zombie so we would have stuck out like sore thumbs!
It was a charity ticket event so lots of people in bow ties and suits and party frocks. We shuffled in and sat at the back with a free orange juice and poster. The film was great for a first effort by a 22 year old and fun to see us staggering around the old Regal cinema - a good shot of me looking rather like Quasimodo!
A few "zombies" lurching about afterwards at midnight as we returned to the car , mostly drunks from nearby pubs! Luckliy none of them wanted to eat our brains. We drove home through the icey mist shrouded Cheshire lanes looking out for odd figures lumbering and groaning into the headlights.

This morning we braved the cold to venture into town for some ear infection drops from Boots as Archie has been complaining of a sore ear these last two days. The lady in the chemist gave us a phone number to ring as they didn't like to advise us. Got some extra bread and Sunday Times. Then to Shackerly with a whole fresh loaf to feed the skidding ducks and ice-breaking swans on the lake which was mostly solid eccept for bits of a channel round the edge where frantic water fowl had broken it up into slivers. The baby swans took the lead being chivvied by the parents who pecked their offspring from behind in a most nasty manner. Some amusement when the ducks slid about after the bread chunks. Ah the simple things of life!

Xmas is Upon Us!

Archies animation for Xmas is HERE. You must be warned though it's not for people of a nervous disposition! I added a soundtrack to try and cover Santa's groans.

Teenager's eh?
Meanwhile the cards have all been sent out and the presents wrapped and the cake stirred and mince pies eaten and another load made and they were eaten too! Its not even Boxing Day yet and I feel bloated and unhealthy. Goodness knows what I'll feel like next week!
We popped into town this morning to get a few "bits" and I got my Christmas haircut. I look rather chilly round the old lug'oles. My neck feels itchy with all the clippings. Then to LIDL to get some de-icer for the car but they didnt sell it but managed to fill a trolley with all manner of junk- biscuits, those german cakes, beer, wine, custard, pickles and not forgetting the baby cheeses.

Archie is just home from school complaing about his teachers. The one that made them watch half of "TROY" on video yesterday and then didnt play the rest today but made them watch "Friends". Very educational!
The house across the street where Mr & Mrs Mather used to live is being gutted by a builder. Sounds like he will do a good job and restore the old windows and improve the look of the place which was pretty awful. Its been empty for years so rising damp and leaky roof need to be seen to. He's just filled one skip full of MDF and crappy kitcen cabinets etc. and another has just arrived to be filled.

More Ducks!

Hazel wondered why I hadn't uploaded some photos of the ducks and the walk the other day so here they are. Actually this is more sticks than ducks! Choosing pooh sticks for the bridge a bit further along. Hazel is wearing her new coat made from an old duvet. She says it's incredibly warm- just right for those freezing train journeys to Manchester.

There was one very tall and lanky duck which made us laugh but it seems to have wandered out of the frame. There was also a huge baby swan which seemed to be eating everything he could get his beak into- dogs, squirrels, small children etc.

Walked to town and back yesterday to try and post some cards and packets but the queue was coming out of the PO into the street so I gave up. Will try again this morning. It was the last day of posting abroad I think so some people might get there cards a bit late. Sorry!

Duck Feeding

Here's the wonderfully anarchic Killer Rabbits that sadly broke up about ten years ago. We never actually got round to seeing them live which is a constant regret in my life. I think about it every day - if only I'd gone to see them when I had the chance!
Luckily we have this snippet of their act that Roger Rabbit just sent me.

Went for a walk yesterday as it was quite nice day for the most part. Went to Shackerly to fling our unwanted dry crusts at passing mallards. The seagulls usually grabbed it, followed by a goose and then a swan and then a coot, until eventually a weird daisy chain of feathered creatures flew off into the distance. I made that bit up.
It was good to get out into the fresh air. We were going stir crazy inside- trapped for two days by the constant rain and wind.
Trapped wind can be very nasty.

We finished off enveloping most of our crimble cards so will have spend a fortune of stamps today to post them all. We made all the cards- maybe we should have made all the stamps too and saved some money!

Turner Prize

A day trip to Liverpool to see the Turner Prize exhibition with Hazel and some students from the 1st year. They went by train from Manchester but we made our own way there via Hartford Station. It only takes 35 minutes. It wasa horrible blustery wet day though and thankfully the journey there was pretty good despite the odd shower. Hazel bought herself a coat/duvet from Gap. It was for Norway really but it was so cold she decided to wear it straight away! I wish I'd bought one too as I was freezing and my old coat smelled like a wet dog by the end of the day!

The Tate was pretty empty- not surprising with the cost a cuppa and a not chocolate being the better part of a fiver! Ate a our sneaky sandwiches under the table like felons. The Turner Prize gallery was incredibly dull and cheerless - rather like walking into a prison. I hated it all and all the students , bless 'em, hated it too.
It was a releif to walk downstairs and look at some more interesting stuff in the other galleries. Even the Bridget Riley's looked more lively after the stuff upstairs.

Came out to be blown back into the Maritime Museum by horizontal hail and biting wind. My umbrella turned into an origami vampire bat and nearly flew away. My face felt like it had been slapped with a frozen haddock.

Good to get home after running the gauntlet. Dodging the Liverpool traffic was bad enough. The place still resembles a giant building site and every other person we passed had a Wimpy jacket and hard hat on!